Hey Moms and Dads -
How’s it going? Are you winning? Are you failing? Are you absolutely killing it, or is it killing you (rhetorically, obviously).
I know, it depends on the day. On the minute. The hour. The nano-second.
I guess the right answer is just it depends.
Every day, we are forced to make a million different decisions that impact our little people and it goes way beyond what school to attend or what nanny to hire. I mean, those are critical decisions - but the every day ones, those are the ones that really add up. Their weight is heavy and compounding. It’s more than what to have for dinner or what kind of kid shampoo to purchase. (By the way, what shampoo are you guys using?)
And we analyze every decision, don’t we? We wonder if the organic peas that our kids won’t eat are better than store-brand peas that our kids won’t eat and then we wonder why in the world our kids won't eat peas at all. We read books and watch Instagram stories and read blogs about sleep habits and maybe it’s just me, but in the moment, we throw all of that knowledge out the window for a last minute, late night snuggle with our little people and then we analyze if that’s okay too. They’ll be big people soon and the snuggles won’t be an option…don’t get me started on those feels.
If we work, we might worry we work to much.
If we enjoy date nights, we might worry are we date-nighting too often.
If we send our kids to school, we might worry about the other kids and the teachers and what they’re learning inside and outside of the classroom.
If we want to grow our family, we might worry if that’s the right thing to do.
If we’re saving, we might wonder if we’re saving enough.
So, how are you doing with all of that? I know.
Are expert parents a thing? Are there people out there that have all of the answers all of the time? Instagram and Facebook surely suggest that the answer is yes.
I think no.
And I think that’s the key to being good. Be vulnerable. Ask questions. Be confident but find your village that will help, that will set you straight if you need it. A village that will jump in and support you, that will answer a text at midnight. Trust your partner (if you’ve got one) and be honest enough to talk about the tough stuff. Admit defeat when you feel defeated. Acknowledge when it’s tough. Fight to make it better. Be okay with a solid ugly cry with each other when life gets ugly. Life gets ugly sometimes.
Set a good example because your vulnerability as a parent, as a person, is golden. That’s the kind of people we want to raise, right? The kind of people who feel okay with not having all of the answers, but search for the right ones. We want to raise the kind of people who find joy in the moments, who love with their whole hearts and who have perfected the art of the best squeeze-hug around.
So, let’s stop trying to be expert. Let’s just quit the quest for perfection. Let’s be okay with trying our hardest, doing our best, and loving the most. Let’s ditch the idea of not getting dirty because it might be messy, and let’s search for the best mud puddle to splash in, hand-in-hand with our little ones and with our grown up friends too.
Everyone deserves a little splash once in awhile. Literally or figuratively, everyone deserves one.