One decade is a really long time.
It’s, like, a really long time.
One decade is ten years, 3,650 days and for us, one decade is buying a house, raising a child, and doing a whole lot of growing up together.
Happy anniversary, babe.
I am not a fan of the mushy-gushy, but after being married to this guy for ten years, I’ll just say this… I am overwhelmed by the kind of man that my husband has grown into, turned into, and I’ve been able to watch the evolution from twenty-something boy to thirty-something man. And there’s this element that girls, women, when you find it, grab it. Never let it go. I was reminded about that on said anniversary.
Relationships are weird and wild, right? And if you know me through this little corner of the internet or if you know me in real life, I think you know that we’re on the road a lot, we work full-time jobs, we have our hands in a lot of side projects and overall, we’re just busy. Sometimes we might go a day without really talking or texting or Facetiming, depending on where we are. Sometimes we’re moving so fast we forget to slow down for the important moments. Sometimes we forget what makes us great.
And sometimes, we remember.
It was a rainy fall evening in September, our anniversary.
I was in the bathroom putting the last curl in my hair, ready for a dinner date with the hubs.
“Mama, your present is outside. You have to hit it reaaaaaly hard.”
That was my clue. And I was clueless.
I followed her on her excited jaunt to the front yard, underneath the apple trees. It was there that I found hubs, wearing a huge grin. He handed me a wooden stick. Next to him was a pinata, hanging from the apple tree. I was a little confused.
This wasn’t just a regular old pinata. It was special for two reasons. First, he (the king of selfie hate), had taken and printed a selfie and taped it to the face of the pinata. The pinata was in the shape of a donkey. Also known as an ass, a jackass.
This is my husband. He handed me the stick, put a red bandana over my eyes, and encouraged me to take a swing.
“For all the times I’ve been a jackass…”, he said.
I swung and I swung and we laughed and we laughed and we laughed some more. At some point, the pinata exploded over the wet grass, and our daughter ran straight for what was inside. But inside wasn’t your typical pinata fixings. Inside was special too.
Inside was representative of the last ten years of our life. Inside was candy worms (I hate worms) an acrylic wine glass (I love wine and durability!), a welcome mat, and so many other things that gave me all the warm feels and reminded me of the journey we’ve been on this past decade. Out of this jackass, came all of the things that so beautifully make us who we are.
Our daughter ate the candy worms.
She also took a selfie with us.
Maybe you have found that special someone and maybe you haven’t. If you have, be sure you’re reminding them once in awhile how great your collective story is. Fight for it. Fight hard.
If you haven’t, I challenge you to look for someone with all of the qualities that are important to you, whatever they are. And as a small public service announcement, just stop waiting for the knight to ride in on his white horse. That Disney dream is a wonderful story but isn’t real life. Real life is more wonderful, because it’s so real. Anyhow, look for these things too:
Look for someone who knows the value of a moment, of a memory.
Look for someone who understands the meaning of adventure.
Look for someone who knows the levity you need in what might be a dark moment or a heavy moment and find that person and let them bring that to you.
Look for someone who wants to keep getting to know you, ten years later.
Look for someone who wants to create something special for you, ten years later.
Okay, so that list got pretty long, kind of fast. Maybe just look for this one thing:
Find someone who fights hard to see you smile. All the time.
That jackass is yours. Own it, and own that sometimes you might be the jackass too.